I’d been feeling it building for a while. It was time to step up even more fully, do what I knew I was here to do, and allow myself to be Really Seen. It felt like quite a biggie: ‘You mean, 100% pure Corinne? Totally do what I love, really own my full Power? Full on Cozza, right to the very edges..?’
I realised that I’d sometimes been turning up in disguise, a bit Corinne Undercover, Watered Down Corinne, Corinne Turned Down To Acceptable Levels…Perhaps I’d been hoping this would be more to other people’s tastes? And whilst I could understand my motivations, those reasons just weren’t useful to me any more: ‘Thank you, Desire To Stay Safe, you’ve been a good friend, and now it’s time to go our separate ways…’, as I shook off the mac and dark glasses and blinked a little in the Light of what I’d just done.
It felt a bit scary, so in true Commit To Joy fashion I noticed this and was curious. I witnessed it, felt into it and I saw how even recently I’d been stopping short of Total Commitment, Total Truth, getting to The Edge and then pulling back at the last moment. Hmmm. But Grounded Excitement, not Fear, was what I wanted to follow now and so with some hugs for the scared parts, and some reassurance that all would be well (and if not always ‘well’, then Real and Good and Useful), we held hands and took a deep breath…
I jumped. I’m in, and I’m sharing this because it feels like a time when so many of us are being asked to step up to the edge and leap into the deliciously squeal-making Unknown and to Let Go, with only the feeling that it is either that or stay squashed in a shape that doesn’t fit us any more, as our parachute.*
I have such compassion for my adorable Small Self for helpfully cultivating beliefs that me being Real was somehow threatening to others, likely to invite hostility, and therefore it was safer for me to stay somewhat under the radar…But I am not some sort of diamond thief who’s just broken into the British Museum needing to creep and skulk and roll around on the floor under those beams of red light in order to escape detection. Nope. Like you, I am the Diamond itself.
Ooh, you little diamond…
And quite apart from anything else, I’ve been beautifully underestimating what others can take. Turns out that people are more than able to withstand the glare of my Incredible Awesomeness. Amazing, I know. (Oh dear ego, you are soooo cute…) But just how is this possible? Well, guess what? They are equally Blazing! How exciting that we are all waking up to the wonder of who we are and what we can offer to the world.
And just as we nurture a little shoot until it flowers, so in this time of stepping into a new territory of Unknown possibilities, power and potential, we must look after ourselves. We must take care of our budding creative projects and dreams, those hopes uncurling in our tender hearts, because they are delicate and precious. WE are delicate and precious, and as we bravelyvulnerably share who we really are, let’s have gratitude for the people around us who are open-hearted and generous in their encouragement and who want nothing more than to support and witness us in all our Flourishing Loveliness.
There will be others too who might be unable to join in this Yes Fest, and then we can practise not taking their less than encouraging responses to heart (more on this to come in ‘It Actually Is All About You, But Don’t Take It Personally…’) and I’ve even come to quite enjoy the discomfort when someone withholds enthusiasm or shuts their heart to me – it’s something to get stuck into in the name of Wondrous Curiosity and Soulful Exploration after all, and always says something about how I might be withholding from myself too, so is a fantastic trigger to simply Love More…
When we take responsibility for ourselves, we realise how others receive us isn’t the issue, it can’t be, not any more. Let’s do what we love, be who we are, and that’s it.
Something that’s come up around all this, is that it’s seemed more acceptable somehow for us to share our struggles, to connect with others through the challenges and pain we face, than it has been to share our awesomeness, our triumphs and creative gorgeousness. Trained to keep inside the lines, not to get too big for those boots or blow our own trumpets (and what’s that about?! If we can’t blow them, who can? Surely there’s nothing sadder than a cheery, shiny trumpet left silent, getting tarnished and dented and sad…) it’s like we’re afraid to shine too brightly, perhaps feeling judged by a sense in certain quarters that ‘Light is lite’, that a path of Joy is one of bouncing about with bluebirds and la-la-la smiling and pretend. It is not.
To walk an embodied Joy Path takes grounded commitment, strength, and courage as we embrace Everything as it is, including the shadowy parts, and so to deny our fullest Light is as limiting as to deny our deepest Darkness. Just as you showing up in all your adorable messiness allows me to do the same, it feels like it’s time for each of us to Delight in the very Beauty and Gifts that we all have to share, each of us here to bring something unique and unrepeatable. Never another beautiful You, ever again.
I’ll show you my Fantastickness, if you show me yours..?
One of my Top Team** once told me that to withhold the things we create, to keep them hidden because we’re afraid of what others might think, is a bit mean. Sounds a little harsh perhaps, but The Universe likes a good brazen Share apparently, and Gifts love to be passed around, appreciated and exclaimed over.
And so, as getting creative is a huge fast track to Joy, if you could bring anything to the creative table, that smorgasbord of delicious and fun stuff, what would be your gift? We all want to see/hear/taste it! Looking around at what others bring to the picnic can make our mouths water, feed and inspire us to create in our own ways. There’s enough space for everyone’s Gift to be seen here, and more than enough talent to go around. It’s an infinite exchange, this constant flow of giving and receiving, and like breathing in and breathing out, it’s absolutely vital to Living as fullydeeplyjoyfully as we can.
You’re not mine to hold onto…
So please allow us to delight in the painting or the wondrous origami dragons you’ve created. Please invite us to the walking group you’ve been thinking of setting up, or the open mic where you’d like to play the guitar or the singing circle you would be amazing at leading. We’d love to read your mouth-watering new story and taste the biscuits you’ve made and enthuse over them because yes, the extra spice that only you add to the mix provides a whole new delicious dimension.
That old Cosmic Closet was getting stuffy anyhow. It was Dark and I was squished in there, and lonely. There is room for us all outside, and room for each one of us to show up with everything We Are, stretching right to the edges till we realise, ‘Oh, there are no edges…’
Come Out and Play!
*I never needed that parachute after all. Turns out we actually just fly.
** In the spirit of full disclosure and committing fully to who we are, my Top Team are wise, loving and sometimes startlingly no-nonsense friends who share their perspectives and help me to see things in new ways, celebrating every time I Grow or Remember or Love a little bit more. We all have good friends like this, yes? The old TT just happen to be in non-physical form. Cool. Coming Out Of The Cosmic Closet and appearing like a fruit loop? I feel the time for worrying about that has long passed…
Let us know in the Comments what you’d like to bring to the table this year. What’s your Gift? (and big yourself up as if you’re your very best friend). What do you want to do more of this year? Be brave and share and let us celebrate You!